Your Client Knows What You Think of Them

If you think your client is stupid, they can tell. You want your client to feel that you are always on their side. But to give that impression, it actually has to be true. This is how you take inventory of your part in the relationship and make changes.

It is a popular conceit in the consulting profession that the consultant is smarter than the client. Though most consultants would probably not come out and say so, this belief is easy to spot in day-to-day consulting. It often manifests like this:

Something has gone wrong in a project. The consulting team has an internal meeting to discuss. In this meeting, several consultants point to perceived shortcomings on the client side as some or all of the reason for the problem. For example:

• “If their site code was cleaner, our fix would have worked.”
• “Their communication chain is so messed up. There should have been plenty of time to get the approval we needed to hit our deadline.”
• “The way their departments are organized — it’s impossible to get anything done.”

The client does not accept the recommendation a consultant gives. The consultant vents to her coworkers that the client wasn’t able to recognize the right answer when it was right in front of his nose.

• “I presented my concept for a redesign of the retail category pages, and all I got back was they didn’t like it, and the logo needs to be bigger.”

An ongoing project is plagued by changing requirements and late client feedback. Consultants describe business practices on the client side in a patronizing tone.

• “Why does everything need to go through the head of marketing? UX should be its own function within the organization. That’s the real problem here.”
• “They just need to make a decision when we put the work in front of them. It shouldn’t take too long to get approval.”

Consultants are not on board with the client’s business goals:

• “But this is the better design. They are myopically focused on conversions. The design we presented is far more beautiful and cutting-edge. The internet is going this way, they need to catch up.”
• “They just don’t appreciate good design.”

See the pattern? When a project is going poorly, it feels bad. People don’t want to feel that bad feeling — so they push it away. It is most easily pushed away by looking for reasons why whatever is happening is wholly or partly the client’s fault.

Opinion-makers on the consulting side have a special responsibility here to lead. An opinion-maker isn’t always the person formally in charge of the project. It can be the technical wizard on the team everyone respects or the person everyone likes eating lunch with. When an influential person says negative things about the client, everyone else on the team will start saying those things, too.

Have you ever walked into a room when people were just talking about you? You can feel it. On a conference call, in person, over remote conferencing software, you can feel it. Your client can tell — maybe not right away but certainly over time — that you or people on your team express negative feelings about them. Then you have a whole new problem in addition to the one you had before.

There is no such thing as a secret on a consulting team.

What to do?

1. Never, ever say anything about the client that would damage your relationship if they heard. I know that’s hard to do. Consider it the price of a good relationship. In the wise words of Thumper: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nuthin at all.” When I’m tempted to vent, I go get a cup of tea, walk around outside, or if I’m pressed for time I shove a big piece of chocolate in my mouth to keep me quiet.

2. Challenge your teammates in the moment if they disparage your client. This is not easy, but it can be done. Try:

“You know, I’m feeling frustrated too, but if we start talking about our client that way, it will create a bad dynamic.”

“This is a tough project, and I feel uncomfortable when we talk about our client that way. Can we take a break, and come back and brainstorm next steps?”

3. Give your client the benefit of the doubt. They know their organization well, and you probably do not. Assume their actions are a response to factors that you may not be able to see. If you build trust they may share those with you in time.

4. Don’t expect perfection from your client. Of course some things are the client’s fault. It is important to evaluate all contributing factors when something goes wrong on a project. But focusing on how the client isn’t perfect will get you worse than nowhere, it can burn up trust while you work toward a solution.

5. You must take your client as you find them. This is why discovery is important. You are responsible for discovering the things that will be the constraints and affordances for the recommendations you want to make or the kind of work you want to deliver. Discovery is never a panacea, but it forms the backbone of a healthy engagement.

You want your client to feel that you are always on their side. But to give that impression, it actually has to be true. You have to create a no-judgment communication space between you, your team, and your client. Although these may be hard habits to form, once they are in place everyone on your team will be much happier and far more effective.